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Category: Relationship

The fallacy of your persona; How to finally End Suffering and Find Permanent Peace

We are not our names, jobs and societal roles. These are merely constructs, concepts and stories. We are much bigger than we think we are. We are not our thoughts, actions & emotions. We are the awareness of the existence of all of these perceptions. Try thinking of a time before you existed and then towards a time that you don’t exist anymore, you can even bring your attention way towards outer space and see the earth as a blue marble. Who and what notices all of these experiences? Know the difference between your expanded consciousness and your egoic consciousness and knowing where to focus our attention will save us a lot of unnecessary misery.

Establish that you are not your identity/self image

Start the day by affirming this “I am eternal, immortal universal and infinite”. Much of our suffering comes from protecting the correctness, avoiding to learn, or running away from things that aren’t in congruent with our ego’s beliefs. Our ego’s beliefs are narrow, based on some teaching we picked up somewhere and why we believe them we can’t truly understand. In mindfulness, we can watch the ego’s biased choices, and opinions. Do not immediately entangle yourself or invest a whole lot of energy in protecting the ego’s position. Try to see things from a bird’s eye view and watch your ego’s murmurs diminish. If you entangle yourself with the ego’s demands, you will burn out and will never be at peace.

Suffering stems from your Self-Image. That you should be this and that and you can only be at peace when such and such has occurred. Sounds familiar? Here’s an essential truth, you can never control how others may react or think of you and you can never find peace outside of you. Be bigger than your identity, don’t take anything personally and too seriously. Make space to expand your being and to become part of all things. Treat everything with reverence and understanding. Imagine it’s the first day of school everyday, remember those days? We were so open and connected.

“We end up putting so much attention onto our image that we remain in a continuous state of protecting or improving our image in order to control how others see us.”

– Adyashanti

Let go of control

As much as we are invested in our self image, we are also addicted to control. Accept that control is an illusion and you immediately break free from the rigid requirements of your ego’s make beliefs. The trick here is to find balance and to know the extent of what you can control. You can devote yourself and try your best to plan a perfect picnic, but don’t get bummed if it unexpectedly rains. Show up with the best efforts you have and expect the higher power on how it will paint the picture. Mostly what we plan is very different from what the higher power has done laid for us. Be keen on picking up signs, be quick on learning the lesson, diligent in reading the messages, flexible in ways to progress and head on out with relentless yet gentle persistence.

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”

– Steve Maraboli

Be flexible on your beliefs

The small part of you is attached to what it knows. It will do everything to protect and defend its correctness, comfort and pleasure. We will open ourselves up to new heights and become truly aligned with our purpose if we are not bound by should and shouldn’ts of our beliefs. Establish a bright line that keeps you aligned with your truest values and principles but keep the door open to new ways of thinking and going about things and how other people are. In practicing this openness, collaborations happen and births of new things become possible.

“That which yields is not always weak.”

– Jacqueline Carey

Stop thinking that everything outside of you is a threat

Have in inclusive mindset. Include yourself by listening, smiling and understanding. Nothing is a threat unless you make it so. Even in front of a wild animal, embody oneness. Tune in to the feeling of all life creating more life. In diversity there is evolution, are you growing with it or afraid of it? You were not afraid jumping into this human experience so why should anything be a threat to you? Listen to your inner knowing more than your ego. If a hunch is telling you to try something new, go for it before the ego pushes you back to comfort. So get used to a lot of unexpected stuff, unknown places & unusual people and accept them as part of one beating beautiful life. We just intersect and interact once in a while to push each other up to greater awareness. No big deal, we will all return to the one eternal consciousness anyways so appreciate all the variety you can while you are here.

You are not separate from everything you perceive outside of you. The sooner you understand and practice this the sooner you will find peace and eliminate suffering. Much of your suffering is in the mind only, learn the habit of constantly dropping stories you latch onto and you set yourself free.

“We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.”

– William James

Stop believing the thoughts that make you suffer

We have learned to practice STOP in our previous entry. Stop, Take a deep breath, Observe & Proceed. Create space between your awareness and your thoughts. Our thoughts happen of themselves but our investment in them is where we trip. We get wrapped up and it puts us in a constrained limited world where the only reality is the world that makes us suffer.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Doing the work by Byron Katie really comes in handy in these challenging times. Ask these 4 questions in times when you are entangled in thoughts of suffering.

  • Is it true?
  • Is it absolutely true?
  • Who would you be without this thought?
  • What would it be like if I turn this around?

Conclusion

In studying the difference between our ego and awareness, we learn where our suffering comes from and know how to manage them through simple shifting of attention and some inquiry.

Our inner world and outer world are not separate. Transcend the illusion of separateness and you shall find peace. Go above the judgement of good & bad and you have accessed the space of non duality. Always be centered where all is in balance and equanimity. Here in lies your piece.

Although letting go of your beliefs might feel like dying, you are dying to give birth to a more peaceful version of yourself, one that is free from suffering, Christ like and carries joy every where you may roam.

Sharing is caring. Let’s raise the consciousness of humanity one small act at a time.

Mindfulness now; How to Live with Intention, Balance & Ease

“Life without a plan, As useless as the moment it began, Serves merely as a soil for discontent. To thrive in, an encumbrance ere half spent.”

– James Allen

You opened up your mind and tried many practices, ideologies, and activities but you still feel you aren’t where you are supposed to be. You work yourself to the point of burning out and still feel unfulfilled? No matter how hard you try there is always something lacking in your life. You do not need to look elsewhere for the answer is already with you. With just a minor tweak in your thinking, you are well on your way to living a better version of yourself. Your life’s worth is not dependent on what you do, what you produce, or what you have to give. It is how you feel about each moment in your life that adds up and make the quality of your life. So with these prompts, let’s make one of ease, simplicity, & impact.

Master your mornings

Make a commitment the night before. Decide the time of waking. Aim for 7-8 hours of sleep. Make sure you hit these crucial points upon waking.

  • Silence
  • Affirmation
  • Visualization
  • Tidy up
  • Movement
  • Identify Key 3 Key Actions that aligns with your last ng term goal

Mastering your mornings will speed up your self-actualization. You will learn a lot about yourself and you will build the type of person who can rise above the norm and is one of high performance and excellence. Before achieving greatness, start by mastering your mornings.

“Remember, the moment you accept total responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you claim the power to change anything in your life.”

– Hal Elrod

Break free from the constant urge to do something

After you have identified the person you intend to become, you will constantly be bombarded by distractions. Once you have decided on a particular thing, commit to it till it’s done. It’s always helpful to be specific. An example would be the law of 100, 100 push-ups, 100 articles, 100 emails, 100 paintings, it is up to you. You won’t have time for distractions because you have your blinders on focused on those 100 somethings that you have decided to put your focus on. It doesn’t need to be 100, the key here is to aim for a specific number to finish in a certain time frame for a certain amount of days. You get to design this so there will be no reason for it to not fit your lifestyle. Aren’t you psyched? What 100 of something are you aiming for?

When you feel the impulse to do something ask, does this help me in achieving the goal I have decided for myself?

“At the end of the day, you can’t control the results; you can only control your effort level and your focus.”

– Ben Zobrist

Drop in and deepen the moment

You can always drop in and be present even in the middle of your day-to-day activities. There is immense depth in each moment and it can be a gateway to eternity and total peace. You can drop into this state in he middle of washing dishes, doing laundry and cleaning. Carry presentness not only in your morning routine but all through out the day. Keep the expandedness you cultivated in your morning meditation, it is a space that will keep you safe from all ever changing external circumstances. Whenever feeling constrained, just drop in and know that you are much bigger than all that surrounds you.

“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.”

– Eckhart Tolle

Perform an act of kindness

What makes us suffer is our delusion of separateness. Often times we ask what is in it for us before doing anything. This leads to very little or no return in energy. Be giving in ways that you are unique and you shall be compensated in unexpected ways. Big heart = Big profit, Little heart = Little profit. We are not separate from each other and how we serve. Imagine your external as a mirror. You are helped as you help. You are glorified as you glorify. Inside of us is an infinite well of stamina and enthusiasm. So open up and don’t be stingy on what you can give, you have a lot.

“Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you won’t have to hunt for happiness.”

William Gladstone

Stop putting things off and face what needs facing

In living with intention, start being accountable for your situation. Start with little things, tidy up your personal space, be on time with your financial obligations, keep your kitchen organized and schedule those experiences that have been wanting to become reality. Face things as they are and the intensity of their overwhelm diminishes, put them off and it grows stronger from a lizard to a dragon. Nip it in the bud before it gets too beg and devours you. Most of them are really easy and just needs a little decisiveness and tenacity which you already have in you.

“Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today”

– Benjamin Franklin

Do more of the things that make you feel alive

Indulge your creativity. Cultivate the courage to create. What you are interested in right now is only a bridge to many doors of more curiosities that will lead to more skills and opportunities. A couple of hours of flow state a day will keep you balanced and keep you connected to your higher self, the real you. So whatever it may be, drawing, dancing, walking, cooking, engage in it and be one with it. Intend this important activity. A couple of hours of feeling truly alive will get you through any issues that might come across in your day.

“Keep taking time for yourself until you are you again.” 

– Lalah Delia

Let go of the habit of revisiting old negative stories

Disrupt the pattern of replaying the same story. The mind only does this because it sticks to what it knows. It has found comfort in it’s own misery. Drop the old story, flip the narrative and start anew. Treat it like an old movie that you have grown out of. Today try writing a new screenplay, one of triumph, epic adventure and a guaranteed happy ending. All are just stories you tell yourself, why not make it a good one. Remember all we need is just a little intention and decisiveness. Decide that today is a good story and so it will be.

Write it on your heart
that every day is the best day in the year.
He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day
who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.

“Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with your old nonsense.”

“This new day is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Stop waiting for the ideal path to appear

The ideal path won’t be presented to you on a silver platter. The universe doesn’t owe you a framework to follow. Everything outside of you is in hazy wave form, you harden them into material form through thought and inspired action. Be open to paths to take in order to arrive closer to your north star. There are many ways to peel an orange. How you will arrive at your desired destination is up to you. One thing is for sure, you gotta move towards it. Just take that one single step forward each day and be aware of the changes along the way.


“Luck comes to a man who puts himself in the way of it. You went where something might be found and you found something, simple as that.”

– Louis L’amour

Maintain composure in the amidst change

Our natural state is one of balance. Work on your inner stability so strong that no external test can make you wobble. Do not take anything too seriously. Give everything space, allow them to be. Everything is just another one of those. You are one of billions who are having the same experience and actually if you are reading this, you are doing pretty good. You are taking charge in empowering yourself with tools to navigate this ever changing world. Strengthen your centeredness. It is best to establish this early in the morning.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” 

– Romans 8:28

Afterthoughts

Serenity can be accessed anytime of day. Nourish and nurture what your higher self or real self calls you to become. With dedication to your mission, commitment, diligence, watchfulness, energy and effort all can be attained. Work with the great power higher than ourselves. Make each day count by making the right choices. The power is in you, now.

Real-time Mindset Shifting tools when life Gets Overwhelming

Much has been said about shifting our mindsets through meditation, self care and retreats to fully disconnect to reconnect. But when we get thrown back into our day to day we immediately spiral back to our old ways falling pray to the tyranny of the mind. It doesn’t need to be this way. Equip yourself with these real-time tools that can be easily deployed when you notice you are being tempted to get caught up in your head.

Physiological Sigh

A tool popularized by Andrew Huberman, that has been discovered in the 1930’s. A deep nasal inhale followed by an extra inhale and extended exhale. Our lungs are not just two big bags of air but it is surrounded by millions of mini sacs that if we were to lay it out would cover an entire football field. Isn’t that fascinating?

  • Deep nasal inhale
  • Another inhale
  • Extended exhale
  • 1 -3 times

It will instantly calm you down and what I love about this is you can do this real-time, no equipment, no audio, no meditation room, just straight up operating on your biology to get to balance. Once we get our chemicals balanced in the blood and in the brain we will operate with more clarity. Learn more here.

“Positive thinking is not about being delusional. It’s about learning how to take control of internal processing and knowing it’ll shape your external environment.”

Andrew D. Huberman

5 Second Rule

Popularized by Mel Robbins, It is the idea that you do a count down from 5 to 1 just like a rocket ship launch. If you have an instinct to move towards a goal you must physically move towards it in 5 seconds. If not the idea will stay in the brain and eventually you will be talked out of it by the brain because, you will have been persuaded by the mind’s reasonings protecting its comfort. The mind doesn’t like new things, and change, but the inner you is driven and destined yo evolve so commit to your actions using the 5 second rule. “The 5 Second Rule is simple. If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will kill it.

“If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will kill it.”

— Mel Robbins.

Why does this work? It is because of Metacognition. The ability to interrupt the sub conscious pattern and flips on your pre frontal cortex. The moment you start counting backwards you lean towards action, as you count, you skip the brain’s resistance to change. If you want something new to happen, you gotta start something you have never done. What is your gut telling you? Use the five second rule before you get talked out of it by your patterns. It’s like ripping a band aid off, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, off we go! Watch more here

Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique)

Made famous by Poppy Delbridge. Is a technique combining tapping parts of the face and affirmations. Identify what is bothering you, affirm a solution and tap for 7 seconds the eyebrows, sides of the eyes, under the eyes, below the nose, the chin and the. The top of the head. It might seem a bit funny at first but, all we gotta do is try. Affirmations plus a specific activity such as tapping activates the Amygdala, the part of the brain which processes threats. Identifying what causes anxiety leads to clarity of solutions. The mere act of tapping too has the same effect of mindful body scan. Shifting away from the distress and towards ease and solution. We have meridians too all over our bodies which are path ways of life force which I think benefits from tapping. So when you are about to do something that scares you, tap away and affirm your power.

“The basic component of the Universe, energy, occurs in either materialized or un-materialized form. All that we see and feel is an expression of energy. All energy is the love of the Divine flowing through us. When we resist the flow of love, we experience discomfort. When we align with the love, we feel joyful and at peace.”

Arnold Patent

Grounding Object

It maybe helpful to have a grounding object like your favorite stone, a prayer card, a small bottle of essential oil. Something that you can touch and bring your attention to. I have a small obsidian stone that I keep in my pocket. We can embody the meaning behind the object; an example would be the obsidian stone being a highly-regarded protective stone, known for its ability to block, absorb, and transform negative energy. Obsidian is believed to be a stone of clarity, with the ability to release emotional, physical, and spiritual blockages, drawing out stress and tension. So from time to time during the day I reach down and touch the stone and automatically centers me back to the present. What is your grounding object?

“Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is a nobler art of leaving things undone…. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials. ”

– Lin Yutang

Calming Imagery

I’m n whatever situation you may be. You can always pick a quiet spot, close your eyes and imagine your safe place. It can be a beach, a tranquil zen room or just out in nature. This soothes the anxiety response and shifts your attention to calm and safety. We get anxious because we believe that we are being limited or constrained by a certain situation, by using the power of calming imagery, consciousness expands and brings forth a stability.

“The thinking mind is best controlled by the imagination. ”

– Carson McCullers

Worry Time

Designating a time for worry. If anything that causes you to be anxious pops up, write it down and a lot a specific limited time to worry about it. An example would be “I will deal with this thing that is causing me anxiety at 6:00 – 6:15 pm”. In designating a specific time for it, you will then force yourself to come up with a solution for it on the time decided upon. You will not spend your whole day ruminating on it because you know that from 6:00 – 6:15 you will be dealing with it and will come up with a perfect solution. So whatever is bothering you, box it up in your head and put a label “to be opened at 6:00-6:15pm. A little time management goes a long way.

“He who every morning plans the transactions of that day and follows that plan carries a thread that will guide him through the labyrinth of the most busy life.”

– Victor Hugo

S.T.O.P.

Whenever you feel overwhelmed, use this acronym STOP. S is to literally stop what you are doing. T is to take a deep breath. O is observe yourself and surroundings and really assess the situation for what it is. P is for Proceed with compassion for self and others. I find this one very handy because sometimes all we really need to do is to Stop, and everything seems to revert to balance. I learned this one from Tara Brach.

“What would it be like if I could accept life–accept this moment–exactly as it is?”

– Tara Brach

R.A.I.N

The acronym RAIN is an easy-to-remember tool for bringing mindfulness and compassion to emotional difficulty.


Recognize what is going on;
Allow the experience to be there, just as it is; Investigate with interest and care;
Nurture with self-compassion.


You can take your time and explore RAIN as a stand-alone meditation or move through the steps whenever challenging feelings arise.

“Mindfulness is a pause – the space between stimulus and
response: that’s where choice
lies.”

– Tara Brach

Conclusion

Hope this post provided some tools for your kit. What’s more important is using these tools whenever challenged. We all know what we need to do but do we really put them to practice? I hope you be your best each day, track your progress and keep on getting better even 1 % a day goes a long way. I believe in you and together we can make this world a better place.

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Things You Might Have Taken For Granted

“I breathe in the fullness and richness of life.”

– Louise Hay

It is in our nature to always be looking for the next thing. The moment life presents us with something exciting may it be intrinsic or extrinsic in nature, our appreciation for it seems to always be fleeting. We binge watch entertainment, devour food, go from place to place and our minds are never here. We are always onto the next thing. This helps us in our expansion and growth but without making time to cherish what we already have we end up missing the point of our journey leaving us depleted and confused. It doesn’t need to be this way. With these simple reminders, may we appreciate the things we have done or have, filling our cups up with overflowing joy before we venture for anything more.

Your Uniqueness

What makes you different makes you special. It is the way we see this uniqueness that most people are misguided. Being different should not be frowned upon or feel bad about. Gone are the days of conformity, it served us back in the industrial age when people were trained to become factory workers. But with technology and automation, creativity and being different in the way you think is of prized value. Think of creative new ways of doing things. Evolve things that has been written, maybe give a traditional recipe a new twist. Being different should be shared and celebrated. You are a manifestation of the divine knowing itself as you go through life. You are unique, valued, needed and play a part in this great miracle of life. So, what’s unique about you and how will it add to the beauty of the world?

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium, and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, nor how valuable, nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.”

– Geneen Roth

All Your Experiences

You may think you did lots of things that were of no use and was a waste of your time. We take these experiences for granted, internships, minimum wage jobs, a friend you used to hang out with, activities you used to enjoy, hobbies you stopped pursuing. All of those contributed to who you are right now. So it is really helpful to look back and pick an experience that you might think was useless and take another look and find something in that experience that helped you. Remembering what we have learned keeps us from nature pushing us to relearn a certain lesson. All your experiences matter and should be valued, try thinking like this.

“The only source of knowledge is experience.”

– Albert Einstein

Daily Learnings

Each day there is a lesson to be learned. A lot of times hidden under our discomforts and judgements. Be in completion with the version of yourself yesterday in seeking these tiny valuable gems. It will lead you closer to the version of yourself you aspire to be. Maybe a more compassionate, understanding, open, flexible and creative. Try as much as you can, moment to moment, ask: “what is this trying to teach me?”.

“Learning never exhausts the mind.”

– Leonardo Da Vinci

Transitions

All of our time here are eternally happening moment to moment. All is now, always transitioning from this to that. Often times we project our thoughts to a certain situation that we tend to lose touch with the now. It is ok to plan and think ahead but always turn your attention to here. We can only design our future up to a certain extent, the real deal is what is happening right now. You, reading this, somewhere, transitioning to a version of yourself that is more present and grateful. Knowing that we are always transitioning, find and acknowledge beauty each and everywhere you look.

“The three realms of existence are as transient as autumn clouds.
The birth and death of beings go on like a dance show.
The lives of beings pass by like a flash of lightning in the sky,
Rushing down, like a cascading waterfall down a steep mountain.”

– The Buddha

The Familiar

We tend to take familiar things for granted but they are as important as the new and exciting ones. All we need to do is to see familiar things in an unfamiliar way. You might have taken the place you are in for granted, your talents perhaps? Daily routines may turn mundane and un eventful, but it would be of great advantage if we do some simple reframing. Your usual route might be reframed from “this is my route for years and I’m bored” to “the sky looked different today and the waters sparkled unlike any other day”. Do not take the “Familiar” for granted, it is there because it works and it serves you. What familiar thing in your daily life are you going to reframe as new?

I“t takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.”

– Alan Cohen

Your Body

Yes we are more than this meat suit made of flesh and bones but this is really where we most spend our time. This is where your spirit lives and it is your instrument for creation. It is sacred and never take your body for granted. Unleash its full potential by self care, exercise and proper diet. Make your inner light shine through your eyes and skin. Flow and be vibrant by raising your alkalinity through good thoughts, good food and applying best practices for self care. You can design your own rituals and regimen. Nourish and love your body, it will love you back a thousand folds.

“To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.”

– Buddha

The Fact That You Are Reading This

The fact that you are reading this means you are practicing self care. You are taking charge of your personal growth, you are probably in your beautiful home, having tea and can breathe deeply and smile. You probably finished some degree and have a craft that sustains you or people who love you that has got your back. Approximately 700,000,000 million people aren’t educated enough to read so this is a good one to be thankful for.

“Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.”

-Thornton Wilder

Conclusion

Hope we give these insights the attention they deserve. Our lives are made up of these little things and you know what they say about little things…. They are not little.

Thanks for reading and have a great day.

https://www.makepurethyheart.com

Tony Robbins Best Quotes

“The power of positive thinking is the ability to generate a feeling of certainty in yourself when nothing in the environment supports you.”

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.”

“If you can’t, you must. If you must, you can.”

“The only thing that’s keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself.”

“Your past does not equal your future.”

“Identify your problems, but give your power and energy to solutions.”

“Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards.”

“The path to success is to take massive, determined action.”

“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.”

“Goals are like magnets. They’ll attract the things that make them come true.”

“People who fail focus on what they have to go through; people who succeed focus on what it will feel like at the end.”

“Persistence overshadows even talent as the most valuable resource shaping the quality of life.”

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”

“It’s what you practice in private that you’ll be rewarded for in public.”

“In life you need either inspiration or desperation.”

“Every problem is a gift – without problems we would not grow.”

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.”

“You see, in life, lots of people know what to do, but few actually do what they know. Knowing is not enough! You must take action.”

“You don’t have to have a reason to feel good. You’re alive! You can feel good for no reason at all!”

“If you talk about it, it’s a dream. If you envision it, it’s possible. If you schedule it, it’s real.”

6 Mental Practices That Will Fundamentally Change the Way You Look Your Life

Much of our Peace and happiness comes not from outside of us but how we see and perceive a certain thing. The same is true for its counterpart, much of our pain and suffering is not outside of us but it is self inflicted. Know how to operate in harmony with the nature of your mind and new worlds of wonderful and beautiful things shall enter your world.

Are you bothered and irritated most of the time? Do you find yourself listening to your negative voices that talk non stop? The first important thing is to realize that you want this to change. Solutions need not be expensive and should come from outside of you like medication and therapy. You have the power to fix your mental health from the inside. Here are 6 key principles and how to integrate them into your day to day to further improve your mental well-being.

1. Become The Observer

learning this skill greatly increases your overall well-being. Seeing yourself as the awareness of your thoughts and behavior puts you in a position to control how you are going to respond with wider understanding and compassion.

To become the observer, take a deep breath and look at everything from a birds eye view. See yourself as a person undergoing a moment of experience right now. It may be eventful or non eventful. Pay attention to the things going on with or without your preferences. Like cars passing by, clouds appearing and disappearing, you can even see and feel the whole world happening without your participation.

Knowing this you relieve yourself of anxiety and realize that much of the things bothering you are really of no importance. All are just opinions of the mind and you can rise up and be bigger than its chatter.

“Nothing has such power to broaden the mind as the ability to investigate systematically and truly all that comes under thy observation in life.”

– Marcus Aurelius

2. Be Open To Accept

Accepting things that you cannot change and changing things that you can. I’m pretty sure we heard this one. Not accepting a situation or an idea creates resistance in your over all well-being. There are billions of people on earth with varying ideas and preferences, accepting the truth that we are all different opens us up for creative collaboration rather than the zero sum game of competition.

Get passed your initial reaction of dismissing an idea presented to you. Things come to your domain of familiarity for a reason. Take a moment to look at things and first observe how it feels, then accept it as it is. Nobody can force you to act on things against your will but it is vital to accept and respect the diverse sentiments of others.

Remember, your initial reaction mostly comes from the ego’s perspective of self preservation. Preserving something it holds of value, maybe its preferences, its comfort, its programming. They might be true to some extent but make time to inquire is this Universally an absolute truth from all angles?

Look to nature, as the mountain accepts the storm. Be like this. Widen your capability to accept. That is what we are here for, to grow in ways on how we perceive the beauty of everything and each and every moment.

Next time when you find yourself stuck in traffic, take a deep breath and have no feeling about it. Just do traffic with no opinions added. Just acceptance.

“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.”

– Gautama Buddha

3. Declutter The Mind

Much like your closet and your desk, the mind tends to get cluttered. But instead of material things, it is often times overloaded with memories, concepts, programming, opinions and random thoughts. Anxious and confused state of being is just simply a lack of organization. The nature of the mind to paint pictures of doubt and threat is actually to our benefit, it lead us to think and evolve to what we are today. But not knowing how to use the mind will bring detriment instead of benefit. Evolution brought us here and it doesn’t end there, we still need to know how to operate in harmony with the brilliance of the mind. It is a double edged sword, like fire or technology, it can either make or break you.

“Your brain is a weights only three pounds but it processes 70,000 thoughts each day using 100 billion neurons that connect at more than 500 trillion points through synapses that travel 300 miles/hour.”

– Healthybrains.org

Can you wrap your head around these numbers? It is truly astounding. So now that we know how powerful our brains are, it is time to know how to use it. Your brain doesn’t stop thinking because it is its nature but you aren’t required to act on each and every one of them. Mind only gets cluttered when you believe each and every thought it comes across with. Declutter the mind by mindful breathing, noticing the thoughts and letting them pass by. One of my favorite phrases is “Be Engaged, Not Entangled”.

4. Cultivate Compassion

Most people are contaminated by negativity and this is not due to their destiny or the cards they were dealt with. It’s just they do not know yet that things could be different. Being judge mental and critical of self and others will raise up your stress levels and will do damage on your well being and relationships. Self compassion is a powerful coping mechanism that will change the way you see the world. Start by being compassionate with yourself. It all starts within you. I like to use Louise Haye’s meditation of imagining yourself and others as babies. This will immediately bring forth compassion because the nurturing nature of yourself will activate making you want to tend and take care of life. That no one is doing you wrong, a baby couldn’t do wrong, you are here to take care of the children in everyone you encounter. So give that a try.

Imagine the unconditional love of God for people, imagine the unconditional love of parent to child. It doesn’t reprimand nor judge. It is just there for you. This type of unconditional love is called Agape. You are able to access this Love within and only when it overflows then you share it with others.

Loving yourself First will diminish cumulative stress, foster better relationships, stand composed during tense situations. Cultivate this unconditional love for self and others and discover a version of your self that is calmer and stronger.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion,”

– The Dalai Lama 14

5. Enumerate Your Blessings

Let’s go deeper than counting your blessings. Enumerate and write them down. Write 3 things you are grateful for right now. Think of the things you have now and didn’t you just years ago only have them as desires? Celebrate your wins no matter how small. Being in the state of Gratitude opens you up for more blessings. It shifts your attention from what you don’t have to things that you have now and will have. Gratitude unshackles you from toxic spiraling negative thoughts. So take a break pursuing things you don’t have yet and focus and praise the things you have now.

“Being grateful all the time isn’t easy. But it’s when you least feel thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give you: perspective. Gratitude can transform any situation. It alters your vibration, moving you from negative energy to positive. It’s the quickest, easiest most powerful way to effect change in your life — this I know for sure.”

– Oprah Winfrey

6. Increase Your Aq (Adversity Quotient)

Your Adversity Quotient is your ability to overcome and endure obstacles to turn them into opportunities. If you choose to broaden your Aq, you will be more adaptable in stressful situations. Have an approach mindset instead of avoid, be proactive rather than reactive. The more hard things you can handle, the easier it gets in the future. Facing the truth, being accountable and responsible for the nearest task at hand for the greater good will help you increasing your Adversity Quotient. Remember, everything has a solution and can be progressed and fixed. Are you gonna give up or warrior up? The up is up to you. Face some challenges, voluntarily lift something heavy and you’ll be resilient and won’t be stressed easily.

“All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me. You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”

– Walt Disney

Conclusion

These 6 insights are of no use until practiced. Start with one and keep it on in your mind all throughout the day and know when to apply them. Knowledge is only power when applied. May you look at things with more compassion, gratitude, curiosity gaining resilience along the way.

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