We are not our names, jobs and societal roles. These are merely constructs, concepts and stories. We are much bigger than we think we are. We are not our thoughts, actions & emotions. We are the awareness of the existence of all of these perceptions. Try thinking of a time before you existed and then towards a time that you don’t exist anymore, you can even bring your attention way towards outer space and see the earth as a blue marble. Who and what notices all of these experiences? Know the difference between your expanded consciousness and your egoic consciousness and knowing where to focus our attention will save us a lot of unnecessary misery.
Establish that you are not your identity/self image
Start the day by affirming this “I am eternal, immortal universal and infinite”. Much of our suffering comes from protecting the correctness, avoiding to learn, or running away from things that aren’t in congruent with our ego’s beliefs. Our ego’s beliefs are narrow, based on some teaching we picked up somewhere and why we believe them we can’t truly understand. In mindfulness, we can watch the ego’s biased choices, and opinions. Do not immediately entangle yourself or invest a whole lot of energy in protecting the ego’s position. Try to see things from a bird’s eye view and watch your ego’s murmurs diminish. If you entangle yourself with the ego’s demands, you will burn out and will never be at peace.
Suffering stems from your Self-Image. That you should be this and that and you can only be at peace when such and such has occurred. Sounds familiar? Here’s an essential truth, you can never control how others may react or think of you and you can never find peace outside of you. Be bigger than your identity, don’t take anything personally and too seriously. Make space to expand your being and to become part of all things. Treat everything with reverence and understanding. Imagine it’s the first day of school everyday, remember those days? We were so open and connected.
– Adyashanti“We end up putting so much attention onto our image that we remain in a continuous state of protecting or improving our image in order to control how others see us.”
Let go of control
As much as we are invested in our self image, we are also addicted to control. Accept that control is an illusion and you immediately break free from the rigid requirements of your ego’s make beliefs. The trick here is to find balance and to know the extent of what you can control. You can devote yourself and try your best to plan a perfect picnic, but don’t get bummed if it unexpectedly rains. Show up with the best efforts you have and expect the higher power on how it will paint the picture. Mostly what we plan is very different from what the higher power has done laid for us. Be keen on picking up signs, be quick on learning the lesson, diligent in reading the messages, flexible in ways to progress and head on out with relentless yet gentle persistence.
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”
– Steve Maraboli
Be flexible on your beliefs
The small part of you is attached to what it knows. It will do everything to protect and defend its correctness, comfort and pleasure. We will open ourselves up to new heights and become truly aligned with our purpose if we are not bound by should and shouldn’ts of our beliefs. Establish a bright line that keeps you aligned with your truest values and principles but keep the door open to new ways of thinking and going about things and how other people are. In practicing this openness, collaborations happen and births of new things become possible.
“That which yields is not always weak.”
– Jacqueline Carey
Stop thinking that everything outside of you is a threat
Have in inclusive mindset. Include yourself by listening, smiling and understanding. Nothing is a threat unless you make it so. Even in front of a wild animal, embody oneness. Tune in to the feeling of all life creating more life. In diversity there is evolution, are you growing with it or afraid of it? You were not afraid jumping into this human experience so why should anything be a threat to you? Listen to your inner knowing more than your ego. If a hunch is telling you to try something new, go for it before the ego pushes you back to comfort. So get used to a lot of unexpected stuff, unknown places & unusual people and accept them as part of one beating beautiful life. We just intersect and interact once in a while to push each other up to greater awareness. No big deal, we will all return to the one eternal consciousness anyways so appreciate all the variety you can while you are here.
You are not separate from everything you perceive outside of you. The sooner you understand and practice this the sooner you will find peace and eliminate suffering. Much of your suffering is in the mind only, learn the habit of constantly dropping stories you latch onto and you set yourself free.
“We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.”
– William James
Stop believing the thoughts that make you suffer
We have learned to practice STOP in our previous entry. Stop, Take a deep breath, Observe & Proceed. Create space between your awareness and your thoughts. Our thoughts happen of themselves but our investment in them is where we trip. We get wrapped up and it puts us in a constrained limited world where the only reality is the world that makes us suffer.
It doesn’t have to be this way. Doing the work by Byron Katie really comes in handy in these challenging times. Ask these 4 questions in times when you are entangled in thoughts of suffering.
- Is it true?
- Is it absolutely true?
- Who would you be without this thought?
- What would it be like if I turn this around?
Conclusion
In studying the difference between our ego and awareness, we learn where our suffering comes from and know how to manage them through simple shifting of attention and some inquiry.
Our inner world and outer world are not separate. Transcend the illusion of separateness and you shall find peace. Go above the judgement of good & bad and you have accessed the space of non duality. Always be centered where all is in balance and equanimity. Here in lies your piece.
Although letting go of your beliefs might feel like dying, you are dying to give birth to a more peaceful version of yourself, one that is free from suffering, Christ like and carries joy every where you may roam.
Sharing is caring. Let’s raise the consciousness of humanity one small act at a time.