Three Words That Simplified My Entire Life

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Confront. Delete. Amplify.

Three words. That’s the whole method.

And friend, they’ve been quietly rearranging my life in the best way.

If your days feel packed wall to wall with calls, tabs, errands, and yeses you said on autopilot, this one’s for you.

Oof, yeah, me too.

Let’s make some room.

The short version. To simplify your life, start by imagining how you’d love your obituary to read. Then lean on three words. Confront everything you do with one honest question, delete what pulls you away from that story, and amplify what brings it to life. Research from the University of Virginia shows our brains default to adding, so a simple reminder to subtract opens up a surprising amount of space.

Start Early Today

Write Your Obituary Tonight. It’s Weirdly the Best Planning Tool Ever.

Stay with me, this one is gentle.

Imagine someone who loves you writing a few lines about how you lived.

What do you hope they say?

That you were present with your people. That you made beautiful things. That you were generous at work and wildly alive on weekends.

Write those sentences down.

That little paragraph is a map. Every day from here gets to walk toward it.

I picked up this exercise from Axios cofounders Jim VandeHei, Mike Allen, and Roy Schwartz, whose book Simplify is built on those three words. Their full conversation with Big Think is worth your coffee break.

“Begin with the end in mind.”

Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, 1989

It pairs beautifully with a truth I keep returning to, that you are writing the story of your life, moment to moment.

Scientists Caught Your Brain Doing This Sneaky Thing All Day Long

Okay, this part fascinates me.

In 2021, a University of Virginia team published eight experiments in Nature with one clear finding. When we set out to improve something, our minds reach first for what we can add, and taking something away rarely comes to mind at all.

The Lego test is my favorite. People had to make a small Lego structure sturdy enough to hold a real brick, and roughly six in ten reached straight for extra pieces to prop it up. The easiest fix was simply lifting one brick away.

It shows up everywhere. Asked to balance a pattern, only about one in five people took pieces away. And out of 651 suggestions sent to a new university president, around one in ten proposed cutting something already in place (Scientific American has a great breakdown).

And the part that stopped me in my tracks? Subtraction came to mind more easily when people got a gentle nudge to consider it, and less easily when their minds were juggling a lot.

So the busier you feel, the harder it gets to see what you could let go of.

The beautiful news? A simple reminder brings subtraction right back into view.

Consider this your reminder.

“Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity!”

Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854

Thoreau went all in on this idea, and I explored his whole experiment in Thoreau’s radical answer to living fully.

Word One Is Confront, and It Starts With the Best Question You’ll Ask All Week

So much of what fills our days arrived by habit.

We said yes once, and it stayed.

Take twenty minutes and look at your week with fresh eyes.

Instead of asking, “How do I fit all of this in?” try asking, “Does this belong in the story I want told about me?”

That one question does a lot of quiet sorting for you.

It works for teams too. VandeHei once asked everyone at Axios to name the three parts of their job with the biggest impact and the three that felt like the biggest time drains. Acting on those lists left the company with “fewer people doing fewer things, getting exponentially better results,” and 75% more revenue per employee.

If you love a little math with your clarity, the 80/20 rule shows how a small slice of what you do creates most of the good in your life.

And give yourself credit here. You get to love your full life and still choose to lighten it.

Word Two Is Delete, and It Feels Like Opening Every Window in the House

Deleting is an act of devotion.

Every commitment you release hands time back to your people, your craft, your rest.

Clear out the clothes you pass over every morning. Step back from the event you feel lukewarm about. Trade the status meeting for a short written update.

When a kind, clear boundary is needed, try this.

“Thank you for thinking of me. I’m going to pass on this one.”

Warm. Honest. Done.

“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.”

Hans Hofmann, painter and teacher (source)

Letting go gets easier with practice, and the open hand holds more than the clenched fist is a sweet place to start. A few of my favorite ideas on essentialism and slowing down also live in this reminder on purpose and serenity.

Word Three Is Amplify, and Honestly, It’s the Best Part

Now for the fun part.

Once space opens up, fill it on purpose.

Sleep. Movement. Long dinners with people who make you laugh. The creative project that makes your heart race.

You get your mornings back. You get your attention back. You get your life back.

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life…”

Henry David Thoreau, Walden, 1854

Wondering what to amplify? Ikigai is a beautiful compass for finding what makes you want to wake up. And amplifying can be as simple as rest, because the peace you’re chasing lives in this very breath.

Try This Tonight and Thank Yourself by Friday

Here’s your twenty minute simplify session.

1. Write three sentences you’d love to see in your obituary.
2. List everything on your plate this week.
3. Beside each item, ask, “Does this walk me toward those three sentences?”
4. Choose one thing to delete. Just one.
5. Give that freed time to something from your three sentences.

One subtraction. One amplification. Watch what happens to your week.

Your Biggest Questions About Simplifying Life, Answered

What’s the easiest way to simplify your life?

Pick one thing to delete today. Choose an obligation, subscription, or recurring meeting that pulls you away from what matters most, release it, and give the freed time to something you love. Small subtractions add up fast, and each one makes the next easier to spot.

Why does life keep getting more complicated?

Our brains default to adding. In eight experiments published in Nature in 2021, University of Virginia researchers found that people reach for additive solutions first and consider subtraction far less often, especially when busy. Complexity grows naturally, so simplicity comes from choosing to subtract on purpose.

What are the three steps to simplify your life?

Confront, delete, amplify. Confront each commitment by asking whether it serves the life you want. Delete what pulls you away from that life. Amplify the people and activities that bring you joy and energy. The method comes from Simplify by Axios cofounders Jim VandeHei, Mike Allen, and Roy Schwartz.

How does imagining your obituary help you simplify?

Picturing how you’d love to be remembered gives you a clear destination, which makes daily choices easier. Stephen R. Covey called this beginning with the end in mind. Once you know the story you want told, every task either walks you toward it or becomes a candidate to delete.

How do you say “I’ll pass” kindly?

Keep it warm, short, and honest. Try “Thank you for thinking of me. I’m going to pass on this one.” Gratitude plus a clear decision respects both the other person and your time, and it usually lands better than a long explanation.

Your Life Is Ready for More Room. Go Give It Some.

Feeling buried under a full life is one of the most human things there is.

And the way through is lighter than it looks.

Start with the ending you love. Confront, delete, amplify. Let what matters speak.

That’s what starting early looks like. Choosing your story today, while every page ahead is wide open.

Complement this with Thoreau’s radical answer to living fully, the 80/20 rule behind almost everything good, and the open hand that holds more.

If this helped you breathe a little easier today, join us here. We’d love to keep sending you your daily dose of GOOD.

With love,
Paolo

Sources

• Adams, G. S., Converse, B. A., Hales, A. H., and Klotz, L. E. (2021). People systematically overlook subtractive changes. Nature, 592, 258–261. doi.org/10.1038/s41586-021-03380-y
• University of Virginia. When It Comes to Problem Solving, New UVA Study Finds That Less Is More. UVA Today
• Scientific American. Our Brains Typically Overlook This Brilliant Problem Solving Strategy. scientificamerican.com
• Pomeroy, R. (2026). This 3-step method to simplify your life starts with your obituary. Big Think. bigthink.com
• VandeHei, J., Allen, M., and Schwartz, R. Simplify. Penguin Random House
• Covey, S. R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. FranklinCovey, Habit 2
• Thoreau, H. D. (1854). Walden. Wikipedia
• Hofmann, H. Search for the Real (1948). Quote via Asheville Art Museum