ON AUDACITY & BOLDNESS
- People love an audacious person. The person who somehow finds their way into rooms they “have no business being in,” who somehow wins the contract no one thought possible, the person who always finds a way
- There is no reason I should even be sitting here. The life I have is ridiculous, but what I’ve been able to do for myself and my family is just because I dared to try. Maybe I was naive, I don’t know, but I’m glad I pulled it off
- The world responds when you put yourself out there. When you give it a real shot for the thing you want—not only in small steps—but in big, bold, smart moves that take a bit of chutzpah
- Something that the highest levels all have in common? Almost all of them were seen as “unreasonable” by someone, if not many people, along the way
- Give yourself a taste, and you’ll start to see things others don’t – new potentials, new worlds, new opportunities, and realize that being unreasonable is how you really start to shape the world
- Being unreasonable means forging a path distinct from the conventional one. It’s about envisioning a reality that aligns with your values and having the tenacity and resourcefulness to make it happen, even if it sets you apart from the pack
ON TENACITY VS PERSISTENCE
- People often confuse persistence with tenacity. While persistence will have you doggedly pushing toward the goal…tenacity will have you pushing and, often, adapting. Adjusting to continue to win
- Persistent people stick to the plan to get to the goal. Tenacious people may change their plan altogether
- Persistence is natural for a lot of ambitious people — to have a singular goal and push — but often when persistent people meet up against obstacles, they either keep pushing…or drop out, get discouraged, or run up against a barrier that is just insurmountable
- Tenacious people will find the side door, go around the wall, see the cracks, or just find another path altogether so they can get it done
- Persistent people can be stubborn (in a good way), but they can also break when obstacles get too rough. On the flip side? Tenacious people are all-in but adaptable. They can flex, and they use it to their advantage
- People can spend their lives being the hardest worker in the room, going nowhere, and they’re not always sure where things have gone wrong. At the end of the day, there is a nuance between persistence and tenacity, and that nuance will be the difference between staying the same and break-out runs in your work and life
- Persisting at something that isn’t working is a waste of energy. To glorify persistence is to disconnect effort from results
- A persistent person may be an unstoppable force, but eventually, they will meet an immovable object. A tenacious person is going to bypass the immovable object altogether
ON STANDARDS & EXPECTATIONS
- Without setting a bar, you will be strapped with frustration – always staying smaller than you are capable of – and life will often have more agitation
- Downward comparison is kind of that death nail of mediocrity. You’ll kind of stay where you’re at because you’re always going to be better than somebody else
ON BEING NICE VS BEING GOOD
- I’ll say this upfront: the world will want you to be “nice,” and others will benefit if you are. In fact, your “niceness” will benefit almost everyone but you
- People think that if they’re not being nice, they are being mean (but there’s a difference between nice and good)
ON FACING CHALLENGES
- What we run from, pursues us. What we face, transforms us
- Don’t be a runner, an avoider. Be the person who faces the hard things head on. Allow yourself to transform your life
ON MINDSET & BELIEFS
- Mindset is really the ultimate performance lever because you have to be the person that thinks that they can learn it that has a self-belief
- I want them to rewrite that narrative to survivorship and overcoming and what it took and you ask the right questions to get them to see their own throughway
- In the face of failure, successful people have a solver mindset. There’s a way of like I can figure this out. Like I didn’t get it this time but I can figure it out
- You probably have the ability, but you’re not understanding your own story
ON MOMENTUM & ACTION
- The thing that every top operator knows is this…the door that will really push momentum is the one that is likely out of your vision right now
- Momentum won’t come if we just sit back and wait. Momentum comes from taking action
- The wind at your back doesn’t always come from the first move. It’s the subsequent doors that open after the first move, the opportunities you seize, the unexpected routes you take
ON COACHING & FEEDBACK
- Caring deeply, challenging directly (core coaching philosophy)
- People can take hard feedback from people that they know are in their corner
- I try to frame things always as opportunities, challenges, ways in which people can level up or improve in some fashion
ON ADVICE & WISDOM
- “It’ll all work out!” While true—things will work out—this advice precludes any forethought or action to get a tough situation to the best outcome. Instead, one is stuck with whatever the outcome may be, rather than creating or influencing it
- I don’t think there’s ever been a single ‘worst’ advice. Advice is broad and plentiful; however, it’s important to understand the context of the person sharing. What previously worked for them may not work for you
- You either have natural, innate leadership abilities, or you do not. There is no in-between (advice she had to unlearn—most people can develop leadership)
ON RELATIONSHIPS & PARTNERSHIP
- Ambitious people have two options: 1. Marry a supportive partner, who knows and understands exactly what they’re signing up for. 2. Do not get married
- The person you spend your life with is one of the most important decisions of your life. This person is going to determine not only a lot of your personal happiness, but they’re going to determine a lot of your fiscal success
ON FAILURE & SOCIAL VALIDATION
- Most people will fear failure not because it’s failure, but because of other people seeing them fail
- Social validation is not the goal
ON RESOURCEFULNESS
- Paul Graham defines being relentlessly resourceful as a trait in the people who go on to do great things. I see it all the time
ON SELF-AWARENESS
- Be humble, especially in the age of social media
- It’s important to keep taking chances
ON SUCCESS PHILOSOPHY
- Be willing to do the hard work. In terms of newsletters, social media is a big growth lever. You can opt out for sure. But you need to accept that it will probably grow a little slower than you would have if you spent the time to get social working for you
ABOUT DR. JULIE GURNER: Doctor of Psychology and nationally recognized executive performance coach who has spent over 14 years working with top-percentile executives, CEOs, founders, athletes, and teams (primarily in tech and finance) to achieve world-class performance in fast-paced, high-pressure, extremely competitive environments. Compared to Wendy Rhoades of “Billions” by The Wall Street Journal (2019) and named a “Game Changer” by IBM. Author of the Ultra Successful newsletter (40,000+ subscribers). Known for her “caring deeply, challenging directly” coaching philosophy. Charges $8,000/month for one-on-one coaching with a 2-year waiting list.
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