Today’s Teacher: James Baldwin (1924 – 1987)
The Teaching
“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
— James Baldwin
Who Was James Baldwin?
James Baldwin was born in Harlem in 1924, the eldest of nine children in a poverty-stricken family. His stepfather was a preacher who treated him with cruelty and contempt. Baldwin was Black, gay, and poor in an America that violently rejected all three identities. By every measure, he faced overwhelming obstacles.
Yet Baldwin became one of the most important writers and social critics of the 20th century. His essays on race, sexuality, and American identity—particularly The Fire Next Time and Notes of a Native Son—are considered masterpieces. His novels explored the complexity of being Black and queer in America with unflinching honesty. He spent much of his life as an expatriate in France, yet remained deeply engaged with American civil rights.
What made Baldwin extraordinary wasn’t just his literary talent—it was his absolute refusal to look away from painful truths. While others preferred comfortable illusions, Baldwin insisted on facing reality exactly as it was: the reality of racism, the reality of his own complexity, the reality of America’s soul.
He understood that transformation—whether personal or social—is impossible without first facing what is actually true, no matter how painful that truth might be.
Baldwin spent his life forcing America to look at itself honestly. He knew that we cannot change what we refuse to see.
Understanding the Wisdom
The Two Truths
Baldwin’s teaching contains two distinct but related truths:
Truth 1: “Not everything that is faced can be changed.”
This is realism, not pessimism. Some things you face will not change:
- You cannot change the past
- You cannot control other people
- You cannot fix every injustice
- You cannot undo what was done to you
- You cannot make someone love you
- You cannot always get what you want
Facing reality doesn’t guarantee the power to change it.
This truth prevents naive optimism—the belief that awareness automatically leads to transformation. Sometimes you face the truth and nothing changes except your relationship to it.
Truth 2: “Nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
This is the revolutionary part. While facing doesn’t guarantee change, not facing guarantees nothing will change.
Avoidance ensures perpetuation. What you refuse to look at will continue exactly as it is. The problem you deny cannot be solved. The truth you suppress will control you from the shadows.
Change begins—and only begins—with facing what is actually true.
What Does “Facing” Mean?
Facing reality is not the same as merely knowing about it.
You can know something intellectually while avoiding facing it:
- You “know” your relationship is unhealthy, but you don’t face it (you make excuses, minimize, hope it will change on its own)
- You “know” your drinking is a problem, but you don’t face it (you rationalize, compare to others, promise yourself you’ll deal with it later)
- America “knew” about racism, but for centuries refused to face it honestly (acknowledged it existed while denying its depth and defending its systems)
Facing means:
- Looking directly at what you’ve been avoiding
- Acknowledging the full truth, not a sanitized version
- Feeling the discomfort of reality, not numbing it
- Naming what is, even when naming it is painful
- Holding yourself accountable, not deflecting blame
- Staying present with truth instead of escaping into fantasy
Facing is active confrontation with reality, not passive awareness of it.
Why We Avoid Facing Reality
If facing is necessary for change, why do we avoid it so persistently?
Because facing truth is often excruciating:
Personal level:
- Facing your role in a failed relationship (easier to blame them)
- Facing your actual priorities vs. your stated values (the gap is painful)
- Facing your limitations (attacks your self-image)
- Facing your privilege (requires giving something up)
- Facing trauma (unbearably painful)
Social level:
- Facing systemic injustice (implicates you in the system)
- Facing historical truth (challenges comfortable narratives)
- Facing collective responsibility (easier to maintain innocence)
We avoid facing reality because denial is more comfortable than truth.
But Baldwin’s point: Comfortable denial guarantees that nothing changes. Only painful honesty creates the possibility of transformation.
How to Practice This Wisdom Today
1. Morning Truth-Facing Inventory (10 minutes)
Start your day by identifying what you’ve been avoiding facing.
Ask yourself:
What truth about my life am I avoiding?
- About my relationships
- About my work
- About my health
- About my finances
- About my choices
- About my impact on others
What am I pretending not to know?
- About someone’s behavior toward me
- About my own behavior
- About a situation’s reality
- About where I’m actually heading
What do I “know” intellectually but haven’t truly faced emotionally?
- You can know your parent was abusive without facing it (you rationalize, minimize, protect them)
- You can know your career is wrong for you without facing it (you stay anyway, making excuses)
- You can know a relationship is over without facing it (you cling to hope, avoid the truth)
Write it down: “The truth I’ve been avoiding is: __________”
Be honest. Just naming it is the beginning of facing it.
2. The Reality Check Practice (Throughout the Day)
When you catch yourself in denial, avoidance, or rationalization, practice Baldwin’s truth-facing:
You notice yourself:
- Making excuses for someone’s behavior
- Minimizing a problem you know is serious
- Distracting yourself from uncomfortable truth
- Hoping something will change without action
- Pretending things are fine when they’re not
The Baldwin intervention:
STOP.
Ask:
- “What is actually true here, regardless of what I wish were true?”
- “What am I avoiding facing?”
- “If I were honest with myself, what would I have to acknowledge?”
Face it: State the truth clearly, out loud if possible:
- “The truth is, this relationship makes me unhappy.”
- “The truth is, I’m spending money I don’t have.”
- “The truth is, I’m not taking care of my health.”
- “The truth is, my behavior hurt them.”
- “The truth is, I’ve been lying to myself about this.”
Feel it: Don’t immediately jump to fixing. Stay with the discomfort of the truth. This is facing.
Then ask: “Now that I’ve faced this truth, what becomes possible?”
3. The Accountability Moment (Midday Practice)
Baldwin was fierce about personal accountability—facing not just what happened to you, but your role in what’s happening.
Ask yourself:
Where am I playing victim when I have agency?
- Blaming circumstances while avoiding responsibility
- Focusing on what others did wrong while ignoring my contribution
- Feeling powerless when I’m actually making choices
What am I responsible for that I haven’t faced?
- My part in a conflict
- My choices that led to this situation
- My impact on others
- My failure to act when action was needed
Example:
- Easy version: “My boss is terrible. That’s why I’m stuck.”
- Facing truth: “My boss is difficult. AND I’ve chosen to stay for three years without looking for other options or having difficult conversations. I’m not just a victim—I’m participating in this situation.”
Facing your agency is painful (no one to blame) but liberating (you can make different choices).
4. Evening Facing Practice (15 minutes)
Before bed, reflect on what you faced today and what you’re still avoiding:
Journal:
- What truth did I face today that I’ve been avoiding?
- How did it feel?
- What became possible once I faced it?
- Where did I catch myself in denial or avoidance?
- What was I protecting by not facing reality?
- What’s the cost of continued avoidance?
- What truth am I still not ready to face?
- Acknowledge this honestly
- You don’t have to face everything today
- But naming what you’re avoiding is itself progress
- What one truth will I commit to facing tomorrow?
- Be specific
- Make it actionable
- Remember: facing doesn’t mean fixing, just acknowledging honestly
Baldwin’s wisdom: You can’t change what you won’t face. But once you face it, change becomes possible.
A Modern Application: The Failing Marriage
Let’s apply Baldwin’s wisdom to something many people face: a marriage that’s struggling but neither partner will acknowledge it.
The situation: You’ve been married for years. You’re going through the motions. There’s no intimacy, little joy, constant tension. You’re more like roommates who resent each other than partners who love each other. But neither of you talks about it.
The avoidance approach:
What you do:
- Focus on logistics and kids
- Stay busy to avoid being alone together
- Minimize: “All marriages go through rough patches”
- Distract: Pour energy into work, hobbies, anything else
- Hope: “Maybe it will get better on its own”
- Compare: “At least we don’t fight like X and Y”
- Rationalize: “We’ve been together this long, might as well stay”
What you tell yourself: “I know things aren’t perfect, but we’re fine. We just need to get through this phase.”
What’s actually true: You’re profoundly unhappy. Your partner is too. You’re living parallel lives. Years are passing. Nothing is changing.
What Baldwin would say: “You know the marriage is in crisis. But you’re not facing it. And nothing can change until you face it.”
The facing approach:
Step 1 – Face the truth yourself:
Stop pretending. Stop minimizing. Acknowledge what’s actually true:
“This marriage is not okay. We’re not happy. We’re avoiding each other. We’re not intimate. We’re not connected. This has been true for [months/years]. I’ve been pretending it’s fine because facing it is terrifying.”
Step 2 – Feel the discomfort:
Don’t immediately jump to solutions. Sit with the truth:
- This hurts
- This is scary
- I don’t know what to do
- I’m afraid of what facing this means
Stay with the discomfort. This is facing.
Step 3 – Face it together:
Have the conversation you’ve been avoiding:
“We need to talk about our marriage. I’ve been avoiding this, but I can’t anymore. I’m not happy. I don’t think you are either. We’re living like roommates, not partners. Something has to change.”
This is terrifying. This is necessary.
Step 4 – Face the options honestly:
Once you’ve both acknowledged the truth, you can explore real options:
- Couples therapy (real work, not going through motions)
- Conscious separation to reassess
- Divorce if that’s the honest answer
- Renewed commitment with clear changes
None of these options were available while you were pretending things were fine.
The outcome:
You might save the marriage. You might end it. But either way, you’re no longer living a lie.
Facing the truth doesn’t guarantee a fairy tale ending. But it guarantees you’re finally living in reality instead of denial.
And only in reality can anything actually change.
The Deeper Philosophy
Truth as Liberation
Baldwin, particularly as a Black, gay man in mid-20th century America, understood that lies are a prison and truth is freedom, even when truth is painful.
The lie: “America is a colorblind meritocracy. Racism isn’t that bad. If Black people just work hard, they’ll succeed.”
The painful truth: America is built on racism. It’s in every system. It’s not past—it’s present. Hard work alone cannot overcome systemic injustice.
Baldwin insisted on the truth: Not to be cruel, but because only truth makes change possible. The lie protects the system. The truth creates pressure for transformation.
Personally, this applies to you:
The lie: Whatever you’re telling yourself to avoid discomfort
The painful truth: What you actually know but won’t acknowledge
Your liberation: Begins when you stop lying to yourself and face what’s real
Facing as Love
Baldwin wrote extensively about love—not sentimental love, but love as commitment to truth and transformation.
He believed: You cannot truly love someone (including yourself) while lying to them about reality.
Facing uncomfortable truths is an act of love:
- Facing your addiction is loving your family
- Facing your behavior is loving your partner
- Facing your privilege is loving those who lack it
- Facing your country’s history is loving your country enough to want it to be better
Avoidance masquerades as kindness: “I won’t bring it up because I don’t want to hurt them.”
But avoidance is actually abandonment: You’re choosing your comfort over their reality.
Real love faces truth, even when it hurts.
The Courage Required
Baldwin knew: Facing truth requires extraordinary courage.
It requires:
- Courage to look at what you’ve been avoiding
- Courage to admit you were wrong
- Courage to acknowledge pain you’ve caused or experienced
- Courage to sit with discomfort instead of numbing it
- Courage to lose the comfortable illusion for the uncomfortable truth
- Courage to not know what comes next once you face reality
Most people lack this courage. They spend their lives in sophisticated avoidance.
Baldwin challenges you: Be braver than that. Face what’s true. Even if you can’t change everything you face, face it anyway.
Because nothing—absolutely nothing—can change until it is faced.
Your Practice for Today
Here’s your challenge based on Baldwin’s teaching:
Today, face one truth you’ve been avoiding.
The Practice:
1. Identify your avoided truth:
What reality are you not facing?
- About yourself
- About a relationship
- About your choices
- About your impact
- About your situation
2. Name it clearly:
Write it down or say it out loud: “The truth I’ve been avoiding is: __________”
No minimizing. No rationalizing. Just the plain truth.
3. Feel it:
Don’t immediately jump to fixing or changing.
Sit with the discomfort of the truth.
Let it be real.
This is facing.
4. Acknowledge what you can and cannot change:
“Not everything that is faced can be changed…”
- What aspects of this truth are beyond my control?
- What must I accept?
“…but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
- What aspects could potentially change?
- What becomes possible now that I’ve faced this?
5. Take one truthful action:
Based on facing this truth, what one honest action can you take?
- Have a difficult conversation
- Make a decision you’ve been avoiding
- Set a boundary
- Get help
- Change a behavior
- Apologize
- Leave a situation
You don’t have to fix everything today. You just have to stop lying about it.
Face what’s true. Everything else begins there.
Essential Reading: Dive Deeper into James Baldwin
If this teaching resonates with you, explore these books:
Primary Sources:
The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin
- Essential American text on race and identity
- Two essays: letter to nephew, meditation on religion and race
- Prophetic, fierce, loving
- Short, powerful, absolutely necessary reading
Notes of a Native Son by James Baldwin
- Collection of essays on race, identity, America
- Personal and political intertwined
- Baldwin at his essayistic best
- Shows his commitment to facing painful truths
Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin
- Novel exploring sexuality, identity, denial
- About a man who cannot face his own truth
- Beautiful, heartbreaking examination of self-deception
- Shows the cost of not facing reality
The Price of the Ticket: Collected Nonfiction 1948-1985
- Comprehensive collection of Baldwin’s essays
- Full range of his thought and evolution
- For those wanting complete immersion
Biographies and Context:
James Baldwin: A Biography by David Leeming
- Written by someone who knew Baldwin personally
- Comprehensive, intimate portrait
- Context for understanding his work and wisdom
The Cross of Redemption: Uncollected Writings
- Previously unpublished and uncollected works
- Shows breadth of Baldwin’s thinking
- For Baldwin enthusiasts
Applied Wisdom:
Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton
- Controversial but powerful book on facing truth
- Practical approach to stopping lying (to self and others)
- Aligns with Baldwin’s insistence on honesty
The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi
- Japanese bestseller on Adlerian psychology
- About facing truth about yourself despite social pressure
- Complements Baldwin’s courage to face reality
Facing Codependence by Pia Mellody
- Facing painful truths about relationships and family
- Practical application of facing what you’ve been avoiding
- For those avoiding relationship realities
The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté
- Facing truths about trauma, health, society
- Challenges comfortable assumptions
- About seeing reality clearly to heal
Closing Reflection
James Baldwin spent his life forcing people—including himself—to face uncomfortable truths.
He faced the truth about racism in America when most white people preferred comfortable denial.
He faced the truth about his sexuality when society demanded he hide it.
He faced the truth about his complicated relationship with his stepfather, his country, his identity.
He knew facing truth was painful. But he also knew that not facing truth was worse.
Because nothing—absolutely nothing—can change until it is faced.
Today, you’re avoiding something. We all are.
Some truth about yourself, your life, your relationships, your choices, your impact—something you know but won’t look at directly.
You’re avoiding it because facing it is uncomfortable.
Maybe facing it means admitting you were wrong.
Maybe it means acknowledging pain.
Maybe it means making changes you don’t want to make.
Maybe it means giving up a comfortable illusion.
But here’s what Baldwin knew:
As long as you avoid facing the truth, you’re trapped. Stuck. Powerless to change.
The moment you face the truth—really face it, not just know about it—change becomes possible.
Not guaranteed. But possible.
And possibility only begins with truth.
Not everything that is faced can be changed.
But nothing can be changed until it is faced.
What truth are you ready to face today?
Reflection Questions
Take a moment to journal or contemplate:
- What truth about my life am I avoiding facing?
- What am I protecting by not facing this truth?
- What has been the cost of avoiding this reality?
- What might become possible if I had the courage to face what’s actually true?
Tomorrow’s Wisdom
Join us tomorrow as we explore a teaching from Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, on the shadow self—the parts of ourselves we reject and deny—and why integrating what we reject is essential for wholeness and maturity.
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Essential Reading: 📚 The Fire Next Time – Essential American text on truth and race 📖 Notes of a Native Son – Essays on facing reality 🎯 Giovanni’s Room – Novel about the cost of denial 💫 Radical Honesty – Practical guide to facing truth
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